Anxiety Aside – When Friends Become Strangers

I am always amazed at how life changes so subtly that you don’t even realize it’s happening until you look back and see that everything is different. Now don’t get it twisted, there was nothing subtle about most of the change that happened last year, but for the sake of you not having to read another post of mine venting about it again (lol), today I am writing about a specific topic.

I think there is a huge difference that happens mentally when you gradually drift away from someone/something as opposed to losing them abruptly. As I stood in a room last weekend with a handful of people I used to be close with, my heart ached a little when I felt out of place. These friends of mine I once had considered family seemed so unrecognizable that it sent a chill to my spine. The worst part of it all is that nothing really bad has even happened to make us feel like strangers, it simply is just the way our lives have gone in opposite directions. We’re not the same people we once were and those days of us hanging out practically everyday are just distant memories now. We’re in different seasons and as hard as it is, some people aren’t meant to stay in our lives forever. Up until that point last week, I was holding on to this unhealthy perspective of how I viewed those friendships, but came to realize that I have to protect my peace somehow and seeing them in person definitely solidified that I need to move on. I’ve gravitated towards hurt and could not wrap my head around why I was seemingly the only one putting effort in. It’s taken a lot of work, but I am starting to just see things for how they are and learning to let go. Sometimes there are no clear answers to the hard questions we have and that’s okay. I strongly believe that God places each and every person in our lives at the perfect moment and their purpose may only hold a temporary place in your book of life. The humans that we meet everyday and interact with are there to teach us something valuable and I don’t want to regret that for a second. In all honesty, last weekend as I sat at the table with my old friends, I was hit with so many emotions all at once and although I was sad, I also could feel deep down that this is how it’s supposed to be. Nothing went wrong and these people are amazing people, we’re just not in the same place mentally/physically anymore. My life is different in every way, shape and form than how it was a year ago and I’m grateful for that. The friendships that grew with me are thriving and that is not something to discredit. There is nothing wrong with drifting away from people and in life, that is going to happen time and time again. I value my friendships so much and definitely miss a lot of people, but it’s also so exciting to think that there are humans living in this very moment that I have yet to meet, but one day in the future our paths will cross. Isn’t that CRAZY to think about??? Wow it sort of blows my mind!… anyways… I digress. I wanted to mention also that if there are friends in your life that you genuinely wanting to reconnect with, reach out! Life is so short and in many cases, growing apart doesn’t mean you never see that person again. When a bond is strong, you can go days, months and even years without speaking to someone and when you talk again, it’s like no time has passed. Having that moment last weekend when I was struck with the reality of distance, it reminded me that I also have a responsibility with my current friendships. No matter how busy life gets, it’s so important to make time for the ones who bring you joy. I never want to get so wrapped up in my own world that I forget to check in with the ones close to me. Letting your people know that you are there, even just to listen, is the most priceless thing in the world. I like to view heartache as a lesson and make the most of a crappy situation, so with that being said, the words above are a reflection of pain I have felt mourning the loss of friendships recently. It may sound dramatic, but I am thankful for the moments when I can reflect and find peace within situations that are hard to understand. Whenever I am overwhelmed with feelings, I crave being able to jot them down and this space where I can do that, is so special to me. If you made it this far, thanks for stopping by!